Me? Write a Blog?

It took a bit of a push and a little bit of me telling myself that using the internet and starting a blog won’t be so bad for me to get a grasp on the fact that I needed to write my own blog. I was afraid. Of course, I knew I was being silly for being scared to do something so simple, but to me it wasn’t so simple. In my mind a blog required diligence and hard work and knowing how to use a computer and the internet. I know how to use the internet, I can use google and hotmail and Facebook.com. I know how to write and work hard at writing, but putting the two together, actually writing a blog, wasn’t really what I had in mind for this course. I hadn’t the first idea as to what to write about. So I sat there and thought about it, what did this school so far, this city atmosphere, do to me and my thoughts? How did it change them? I noticed, more important than anything, was that when I’m outside here, at night, I miss the stars.

There are no stars here. And that, to me, says a lot about the environment that I live in. There are no stars because the city and the smog and the lights block it all out. Well, will the city and the smog and the lights block me and my thoughts out? Will they block out my mind’s clarity? At home the air is so crisp and sharp and clear that I feel so free to think anything and everything. When I’m laying outside looking up at those stars I can dream on for hours thinking of other worlds and dimensions and what more is there than what I have now. As lame as it sounds it is, to me, inspiring. Here, it’s like we’re in a snow-shaker, or a fish-tank where we can’t see what’s going on beyond our dome. We can’t see the other worlds and other suns when we look up. Could this physical atmosphere stunt our psychological growth to the narrowness that is around us? Maybe it’s just me, but I do feel a little backlogged, like it’s difficult to let out the creativity.

This is why I’ve decided to name my blog Missing The Stars, Here In Toronto. I figured that if I were to be spending so much time sitting and writing for something, it may as well have a name that reminds me of home, reminds me of the other worlds outside of my own. A name that reminds me of the creativity that I could so easily feel at home.The stars are what I look forward to seeing and totally took for granted at my house in Utterson, Muskoka.

Of course, now I realize that a blog isn’t as scary as I thought it may have been. That really, it’s almost like writing an e-mail to myself, or keeping track of my thoughts. Instead of writing in a book or a journal, it’s on a computer, in Word, and then copy and pasted into a web-page. This explained to me a few weeks ago may still have freaked me out, but I’m coming to terms with it now. A blog takes just as much diligence and hard work that a good diary does. Of course this one has a few more guidelines and is a little more work, but it’s generally the same to me. I didn’t think that I’d be able to keep it up, and sometimes I did let it go for a while, but it has been interesting publishing something online. I presume that I (obviously) have only more to learn about it.